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For some reason men seems to wonder where they can "meet" women.

Meet in quotes, because they must mean something different than what it says in the dictionary for "meet" or it should be obvious?

We like to overthink it. I'm guilty of that too. We're also lazy, set in our ways and don't really mean we want to meet women. What we mean is that we'd like an easy way of meeting women in a setting that doesn't induce the slightest bit of discomfort.

That's quite different.

Our ideal location is:

  • Somewhere we're happy to spend time to start with, and feel comfortable.
  • Somewhere where women will just magically appear alone, so we don't need to worry about her friends.
  • Somewhere there won't be any competition.
  • Somewhere we can indulge in the activities we enjoy the most.


You're a man, are you not? (apologies, ladies, but as usual I'm assuming a mostly male audience). Even if you're a knot of anxiety, you can man up enough to go places with more women instead of hiding at home or some other place where there are no women.

I used to spend evening out and in on my computer in my room, while wondering why I never met any women - despite the fact that I'd reduced the amount of time I spent in environments that had women to an absolute minimum. Basically first class, and then work, where I'd see the same few women over and over, and my commutes (and commutes are bad for meeting new people: If you're schedule is at all regular, and you take the same route, you will pass mostly the same small-ish group of people day out and day in, even if you don't notice.

Stop discounting all the places you know are full of women.

If we're a bit more flexible, and prepared to actually go out, invest some effort and accept that we still need to deal with other things, like approach anxiety or other forms of social anxiety, finding places to meet women suddenly becomes easier.

You should be thinking "of course!" for every one of these. Or most of them, anyway. And then stop making excuses for why you won't go.

1. Dance classes

If you avoid the obviously flawed choices, such as dance classes dominated by couples (ask at the studio; hey, even use the opportunity to get talking to someone new by asking someone coming out of classes what they are like), dance classes are excellent places.

Whether it's pair dances such as Salsa or individual or troupe type dance classes, how many straight men do you know that take dance classes? How many of them do so only because they're in a relationship and she's pushed him into it?

Now the question is, given the number of women who love to dance, and the number of times you'll see women ohh and ahh over dance movies, why are you not taking dance classes?

You're surrounding yourself by women, and if you pick the more energetic classes you're surrounding yourself by women that likes to stay fit, and you're doing so in an environment with very little competition from straight, single men.

To top it off you're learning a skill that makes you more attractive to women, and put yourself in a situation that forces you to be social and takes away the "problem" of the opening that cripple many of us with social anxieties.

2. Massage courses

Another case of learning a skill that'll come in handy when you actually meet a woman while at the same time putting yourself in an environment where straight available men are a rare commodity.

Besides, depending on the class you might find yourself on the receiving end of a nice massage too, and with trivially easy opportunities to see more of any women you like by suggesting you could practice on each other (beware - this is also an excellent opportunity to rightfully come across as a totla creep if you don't make sure you have a good connection with her first)

3. Yoga classes, pilates classes etc.

How many of your friends would laugh their asses off if you suggested they go to a yoga class? Now go to wherever your local yoga classes are held and ask for a tour and pay attention to how many women go there.

Point made? Again you're picking somewhere dominated by women who like to keep fit. See some of the positions these women manage to get into? Do I have to spell it out for you?

Effectively, any type of fitness class that most guys think of as "gay" or "for women only" (...) are great potential places to meet women.

4. Out shopping

You know women love shopping, right? You know women love to talk about how someone is dressed? And I'll bet that you need clothes sometimes, probably need to moisturize more, could use a new cologne, could use some fashion advice and more.

Go to your local large department store. Check out the perfume counters and makeup section. All women. All nicely made up. Ok, so there are some gay guys that look like women, and some women that look like they've applied paint instead of makeup. But overall, it's a place to find a lot of pretty women - both behind the counters and customers.

Ask for advice. Both for yourself and about buying presents, whether it's a real one for your mom, sisters etc. or for a hypothetical platonic friend.

Ask for advice both of the staff, AND of other customers. Believe me, you will get plenty of women who will be amazingly enthusiastic about helping you, and customers often more so than the staff.

Go to the womens wear section, and ask for advice about buying presents.

Go to the mens section and ask what suits you (but beware, in the mens section a lot of women will be there looking for stuff for their partners). Go to the womens section and look bewildered and ask if they know where the mens section is, and oh, do they have time to give you a quick opinion on clothes.

Women eat this up. I've seen women on the way out of the store, turn around and physically drag a guy demonstrating this for me two flights of stairs down into the womens wear section to show him what she thought he should buy for a hypothetical friend of his, and then after two minutes of chitchat give him a massage then and there, all while practically purring like a cat.

You're finding women in a habitat they love, doing something they love, and demonstrating a trait they love in men, all at the same time.

With staff you're finding a capture audience, who are in general very receptive to positive human contact (you'll be amazed at the response you can get from store staff if you treat them as humans, as most customers try to act as if they don't exist...)

5. Spas, massage parlours, hair dressers etc.

Go get a manicure, pedicure, facial, massage (without the happy ending), etc. Most people providing these kinds of services are women. Most of them are happy to have a conversation with you.

At worst they're good to practice on, because they're stuck with you unless you behave like a total sleazebag or asshole, at best you can get numbers or more.

They are also great place to ask all the questions you'd like to ask about female behaviour. Ask her opinion on your clothes, your general appearance, tell here there's this girl you're thinking of asking out, but you're shy and ask for advice on how to approach her. Etc.

They'll be able to talk for hours. Pay attention.

A few words about massage parlours in particular: Find a respectable one.

Don't go to one that is likely to provide sexual services. That is, unless what you want to do is pay for sex and you're ok with that and don't want anything else.

But the point of this advice is for you to meet women who will like talking to you and possibly date you, not give you a handjob for a 20 (or whatever they charge). My experience is also that even if you don't intend to take up any offers, if you go somewhere where you are offered "extras" and turn them down, the massage you get will be shit, as she now just see you as someone preventing her from seeing a client that'd earn her far more.

That said, a massage can be incredibly charged, and things can happen, though you should not expect anything to happen beyond the massage. I've had a massage therapist admit to being turned on by massaging me, and kiss me out of the blue at the end of our session. We made out, but nothing more, because it felt natural and right (and because I was too surprised to get around to asking for her number...).

But realize that you're in her workplace. Don't think it's acceptable to harass a girl just because you're practically (or totally) naked on a massage table and it's private. If anything, the way to succeed in a setting like this is to be totally different from the guys who'll perv on her, and just be confident, fun but a bit reserved, and compliment her nonchalantly and move on to something innocent, and let her get to know you and trust that you won't suddenly try to push your penis into her hand at her place of work and imply that she's a whore.

If you take this in mind, and you like getting massages (otherwise this is a horribly expensive tip), then the situation is perfect for improving your conversation skills, especially given the intimacy.

6. If you have a child: The local park or nursery group.

While many of the women there will be married, many won't, and anywhere there are lots of kids the vast majority of adults will be moms, as dads are notoriously bad at taking their kids to these things. Sign up for activities. Get their numbers to arrange more meets between your kids. Show them you're good with children.

You can probably think of dozens more of these kind of places if you put your mind to it: Any place most straight guys will huff at and write off as too feminine.

Frankly, from experience, just carrying your kid around is a perfect way for single dads to massively amp attraction from many women. Whenever I have my son with me, women start conversations with us everywhere. But the park or nursery groups etc. are especially good.

7. Strip clubs

Yes, I'm serious. No, unless you're very good or willing to pay you're not going to pick up any women there anytime soon (not that it's impossible, or even that hard if you practice enough and learn the right skills, but if you're ready for that you wouldn't need advice on where to meet women).

But strip clubs are surprisingly good places to practice conversation and eye contact if you go at off hours. As for other options mentioned where you have a "captive" audience, you benefit from being somewhere she's paid to be. As with other work-places you should of course also keep in mind that you need to treat her with respect.

But don't be "that guy" that thinks that the fact they're naked means they're easy / slutty, and that you only need to show you're a "big man" by tipping lots. You might get laid that way now and again, but if what you want is a prostitute there are much easier ways.

On the contrary, just politely turn down any private dances, don't tip much, don't drink too much and try to be friendly and start conversations if the girls come over, and try to get eye contact and practice holding it when girls are dancing (want to stand out? eye contact instead of staring at her tits and ass is a good one)

Just make sure to respect that they you are not making them money this way, and so leaving you when there are customers coming that are willing to pay for their time is not rude, but what they're paid to do.