Too many men are effectively neutered by a society that is increasingly trying to turn us all asexual and identical.

Yet, women in general don't get attracted by wimps, even if they may think they do sometimes. Most women want strong, assertive, independent men. Men that stand up for their beliefs. Protectors. Men that go out and do rather than hang around them seeking for approval.

If you give women what they ask for, in man cases you will end up giving them a neutered man. A virtual eunuch that they'll enjoy to spend time with, the way you like having your dog around. But a man that slowly but surely loses his sex appeal and causes her to resent him.

That is, if you ever get past the friend stage.

What is the alternative? Many men, and women, think that the alternative is the bravado and immaturity of some teenage hormone-controlled jock coupled with the lack of consideration, the laziness, the untidyness and generally appalling behaviour the average teenage boy will show, and that many men stick with for decades. "Boys will be boys" and all that.

Many women end up falling for the "bad boys" that abuse them, whether physicall or mentally, or just simply act like immature assholes, because they themselves don't recognize what it is they are looking for - they just see a glimmer of it in these "bad boys".

The real alternative for men that don't want to turn into total douche bags is a refined masculinity, a man that knows what he wants and goes for it.

The alternative is the man that displays confidence and can walk up to any woman and seduce her, not the loud 18 year old screaming lewd remarks after women on the street because his hormones tells him to.

The alternative is a man that goes after success and achieves it. A man that defines his own life, and that sees challenges as a way of living life to the full.

And yes, a man that can appear "dangerous" (but without being dangerous, at least not to her) and mysterious.

A man that loves women, not just sex with women, but that is confident enough in his ability to get the women he wants that he is never needy; never desperate for their approval, and will stand his ground and not compromise his ideals just for a promise of sex.

Learning to recognize the distinction is essential: Refined masculinity is about confidence; the "bad boy" is often about making up for insecurities.